Some people spend their time helping others, taking care of others, assisting others, spending for others. They use their mind, intelligence, time, care, resourcefulness and abilities to help others. THIS IS AMAZING. They do it without wanting credit and give credit away. These people have found the magic alchemy of life. The elixir that transforms our lives into something with meaning. Visualize yourself on the moon staring back at earth and then try to find the miniscule dot that is you. Do this daily whether you are religious or not. See how your mind will think over time. Remember, that is you and that is all. Your life can be snuffed out so easily. You are tiny, but your wants and feelings are over-projected to massive blinding illusory importance. This is a delusion we blindly follow like a moth to flames. Don’t be so wrapped up in it. Old age, disease, problems, disasters, death, disappointments are always around the corner because we have the causes created for it. This is not being negative, but truthful. Life is lived well when pain has been realized. Cannot avoid pain so we must realize it, face and see the true source of the pain. But we can decrease the effects of pain with doing good works. Don’t blame others for what your karma brought you because it brings more karma to you to suffer and those you blame won’t even be around for the next round for you to blame. Blame karma not others. And you created the karma. Remember that always and daily. Don’t blame others for what karma brought you. Why? Because your blame will bring more karma and the cycle does not end.
Anger is a sign of deep dissatisfaction with ourselves that our selfish aims are not accomplished. Selfishness is the real enemy. Everyone else is just a bystander. Selfishness and its pursuits will be everyone’s downfall and this is just the truth of human existence and we cannot avoid this. No one has avoided it and if we think we are the magician who can “abracadabra” this away, go ahead and try. Greater men have tried and fallen. Selfishness is the real enemy and this is across the board. Embrace and change. Or avoid and attract more pain.
Some spend their lives going on endless trips, self indulgences, fun, food, spending money on themselves only and endlessly social media about this. They glorify nothing but only the banal and mundane. The mundane becomes the creation of a false garden of Eden each time they glorify it they think or hope. What they glorify is the illusions which gets bigger and makes the fall bigger in the end. They do this over and over and even collect ‘fans’ who like and share their posts because they know no better also. They are not bad as they know not what they follow. It’s like someone with HIV knowingly and spreading it to people who have no idea what it is and practice copulation in ways that transmit to them. They glorify the process of transmission and the ignorant follow along. But in the end the ones who are ignorant followed the Pied Piper into the river and drown. These selfish beings who self indulge and glorify it sometimes want glory, name, position and to look good too. They want the name and glory without the long hours and hard work. They demote and eloquently degrade the hard works of others and commitment they have to put in to achieve something good and lasting. And when they cannot keep up, they need to further insult those who continue and justify their leaving or non participation. Leaving is fine, but be truthful. When they make mistakes, they want you to not speak about it and they never improve because of this hiding. They want everyone to bow to them and to live in a world they never look bad although they look terrible but it’s unspoken. As if though if not spoken, it does not exist. They are nice to the rich and powerful and snap at those they feel are below them or will take their unkindness. They spend more time being forgiving and kind to the wealthy as if suddenly their tolerance level has reached beyond the summit of the Himalayas. But to those around them, they are impatient. They affect the people around them negatively. They affect their partners, friends, children, relatives and parents negatively. They are temperamental and fly off the handle instantly if they don’t get what they want. It’s always about them and them alone. Everyone must surround them and coax them to be ‘happy’ again. To beg for their forgiveness. And when in their bad moods, no sense can be spoken to them. They quit, slam the door, run and escape. It is ALWAYS everyone else’s fault. What they owe you and what they have received from you in good times evaporates faster than a drop of water in the Sahara. As if you have never done anything good for them. They will endlessly tell the whole world it’s someone else’s fault. That will only work a few times though. They EVEN BLAME YOU FOR THEIR ANGER AND WILL WANT FACE TO COVER THEIR BAD BEHAVIOUR when they’ve ‘calmed’ down finally! People around them must bow to them they feel. Because they never humble themselves to anyone for now but a day of reckoning will come. They will run out of people who tolerate them. You see, they are always right and everyone is wrong because they are divine or something or perhaps Manjushri. These people are actually the most unhappy people in the world and over time you can observe this. You see, no one can be happy always under the illusions they are perfect, without fault and everyone must kowtow to them. Being inconsistent, giving up, temperamental, spoiled, laziness and wanting name and glory without much work spices the soup of anger. They have much hidden anger which is their downfall and the truth they avoid. Anger which arises from the selfish mind accumulated from years. Being selfish may be an ugly word, but do you want to hear the truth? With truth something can be done.
And when their anger spells are over, they want to pretend nothing has happened. They don’t apologize or half heartedly do so… Be warned, these types of people lose the most precious commodity in life – FRIENDSHIP AND TRUE LOVE/CARE. What else is there in life??? In the end, money, position, power and beauty will win no one but only users. See examples of people in your life past and present who ‘have it’ or ‘had it’ and at the same time have nothing in their lives…..People go away from them. They attract like-minded people to enjoy their selfishness. They just use each other. In the end, they are alone, broken, hating themselves. Let them dance and show you what a good time they are having but the music does stop. Old, sick and just waiting for death alone because their lives were used for nothing. Even having money becomes a curse and not blessing as people wait for them to die to get the money and possessions. Every meeting with ‘loved’ ones and friends is painful because it’s rare that because of love they visit you. They live in anger, wake up in anger, sleep in anger, eat in anger, smile with anger, think in anger, look good in anger, travel in anger, shower with anger, go to parties with anger, study with anger, pay bills with anger, and basically the anger consumes them. Everything they do is to get attention they are dying for and when they get some attention, their anger gets more because it’s never enough. They are feeding a huge monster that just keeps growing. Anger is a monster and wanting credit and attention feeds it. Selfishness is anger’s best fodder too. They abandon those who have been kind, loving and caring to them easily. These people don’t deserve their sufferings but being angry and lashing out and desiring only things that benefit oneself will create the karma to experience this. They will keep experiencing this. Anger can be loud or quiet. It can come with a smile and the person can speak softly. But it will manifest over time because of their total unhappiness with themselves and they will ruin your world and existence if they can knowingly and unknowingly.
You may feel karma doesn’t really exist or not sure, then you explain the disparities in the world and around you. You can explain the disparity within your own experience of your life. To exist in selfish mind, is to create the karma and attract all that anger attracts which is doom for the self. To exist in selfishness will only attract anger. Because in time all the selfish pursuits will be slowed down or stopped due to loss of friends, sickness, old age and maybe running out of people and money. But the habits don’t die. The longing does not die. Having the habits and not the means to carry out the selfish pursuits will result in more anger, more bitterness and more blame to others. But now we are older or old and no one will take it. So all that we had to ‘attract’ others that had them tolerate our outbursts, selfishness will fade, but our longing for attention, ‘fun’, selfish pursuits will not and that is the suffering. The suffering is the longing that does not die and we made solid by habituations. The suffering of change. The suffering of impermanence. In life if all we’ve cultivated was selfish pursuits and fun, then we will experience their negative results. You cannot paint things black and then be unhappy they don’t turn out white.
Everyone MUST AVOID this fate for themselves. Be patient. Overcome anger. Apologize when wrong and DO NOT REPEAT. Integrity is the foundation of development of the mind into higher states of thinking and existence. Be kind to everyone and be tolerant. Control the anger till there is nothing to control. You can control your food intake, walking, urinating, defecating, spending, entertainment so why not anger? It’s just a part of you.
You may have a partner, husband and wife, but it has no meaning, because it’s only in name. You may have a few people ‘hanging around’ you, but they are not friends or love you. There are exceptions, but don’t use the exceptions as the norm. It may be even habit they are around or just as selfish so it’s convenient to be with you. It’s hard to love some so angersome, self absorbed and into themselves only. If they do, there is something ‘cooking’. Self absorbed angry people will have to pay the price sooner or later. No escape.
Being kind to all and working for others bring happiness. All great men and women have taught this. There are tens of thousands of examples of this and it’s timeless. When others disappoint us, never use them as a reason to degenerate, because you will experience the results and not them. Don’t use others as a reason to degenerate ever or to be dishonorable. Don’t share in their downfall by letting it affect you and you fall. You don’t help them and you can’t blame them when you are alone and the results are upon you. You hurt many as they have hurt you. Your pain is just as valid as the pain you give others when you don’t have integrity, keep your word or degenerate. Don’t let others be disappointed by them through you. The pain they gave you will be the same pain you give others. They are not worth your downfall. We should never forget this whether we are religious or not. This is not religion, but it is the alchemy of life. Alchemy transforms ordinary metals into gold. Kindness and selflessness is the alchemy of life that turns our misery into happiness. Overcome our negative qualities and increase our positive qualities.
If we believe in religion, we should use our religious training to curb our minds. We should APPLY the religious teachings and not just learn it or know it. A Zen proverb, “A donkey carrying a pile of holy books is still a donkey”. Meaning we can have all the holy religious training in the world and be near it, but the goal is to eradicate or lessen the selfish mind. We have to apply what is in the holy books. This is the goal. What is the point to know so much and not apply it to oneself. The second key is to apply to oneself and immediately. If you are not religious, that is fine because you still want to have a good life. Never burn our bridges due to anger. A good life is not indulgences and endlessly indulging in them but living to bring benefit to others. Indulgences are simple to understand. They serve you in the short term and destroy you and those around you in the long run. You consider this point and face the truth in your mind. There is no escape even if you don’t want to think about it. The hurricane comes whether you choose to prepare or not. The weather forecast can only warn you. The Dharma teacher or Dharma can only kindly warn you. It’s good to face it because you will turn something bad into good.
In the end, you ask yourself, did Buddha become enlightened or not? If He did, then there is enlightenment. If there is enlightenment, then we have to work towards it. Enlightenment is the state of non-desire without suffering and no selfish ego. If Buddha has achieved this and you believe in the Buddha, this is your goal too. Buddha’s enlightenment negates the rationality of your selfish mind on any level. Buddha’s enlightenment defeats you in debate about your selfish pursuits. Therefore why cherish it but one should expunge the selfish mind and work on this passionately and daily. Starting now. This is not a matter of being religious. Don’t hide behind that being or not being religious label. This is about you and who you are and your future. If you choose to believe Buddha did not achieve enlightenment, then you are right and carry on being unhappy happily for the rest of your life. Everyone is wrong. No one gained attainments and higher states of mind. Buddha was a liar and his enlightenment was false and He is a selfish egoist. Only your selfish mind and indulgences are the supreme deities and continue to be worshipped. Think carefully. Is your Yidam (one’s affinty Buddha) the resplendent deity emanated of anger with six arms symbolic of indulgences, pleasure, greed, instability, projections and selfishness? This ‘Yidam’ has not served us well. It’s time to change Yidams to one who has eradicated selfish mind and it has many arms to encourage our spiritual growth. A Yidam of six arms perhaps where each arm symbolizes fortitude, consistency, patience, tolerance, integrity and kindness. A resplendent Yidam emanated of kindness. A kindness we have cultivated within us. How many arms and which Yidam is just symbolic but put my sharing in your heart as I mean no offense. But my duty is to share dharma and the essence of dharma is development of the kind mind as in the Lojong set of teachings. This is our best Yidam to embrace and hold and cultivate. If you want to hear the truth, I have just shared it with you. It’s not my truth but the teachings of a Universal Sage, A Buddha, an Enlightened Being distilled for your easy comprehension.
This sharing was just written as I was inspired by contemplating on a very powerful text called THE WHEEL OF SHARP WEAPONS where Yamantaka is requested to destroy our self cherishing mind. The cause of all sufferings. Read this text monthly. I highly recommend this text.The pith of any religious practice or living a good life worth living is the destruction of selfish mind and its harmful companion – anger.