Excerpt from Lighting the Lamp by Alfred Woll:
Needing someone is wanting something for ourselves; loving on the other hand, is wanting the best for another.
Needing is a self oriented attitude, in which we want someone else to fill a gap, to make us feel less lonely. to make us feel safe and secure.
Genuine love, by contrast, is being alert and attentive to someone else’s needs; it is the readiness to care, give, help, and support another, with respect and an unbiased, open attitude.
Attachment arises out of a sense of personal insufficiency and limitation, which easily gives rise to dependency and ultimately we become possessive and fearful and experience many other uncomfortable mental states.
Genuine love is not holding and therefore it does not fear loss. It is being open and abiding fully in the moment and devoted to the dynamic flow and sees the richness of time’s passage.
Love neither holds to the past nor long for the future, rather, it is an unbiased, accepting appreciation for what is happening right now